Whats it like being a young carer?

Guest blog - Emily-Jade.

In the world we live in everyone wants something that they don’t have, people with straight hair want to have curly hair, people with curly hair want to have straight, People want more money; to be prettier; more intelligent. We all want something that we don’t have. Even your average 13 year old wants their life to change - the majority of them who want to be popular and more attractive is overwhelming!

What did I want at that age? I wanted the same thing that your average young carer wanted, I wanted the person I was caring for to be healthy again. My Name is Emily-Jade and I’m one of the 700,000 young carers in the UK.  I was five when I started caring for my father. He had Angina and Arthritis; found tasks difficult - walking up the stairs, bending down, picking things up off the floor.

My daily tasks including washing the pots, doing the laundry and other general housework; making him some breakfast. I was the only Five year old I knew who could cook a Sunday dinner. Whenever he struggled with getting out of bed I’d help him up, I’d -give him his medication otherwise he’d forget it and massage his joints to help him stay clear from pain, get his clothes ready and then I’d leave for school and spend 6 hours sat in a lesson worrying about if he’d fallen, if he was struggling to breath, when I’d come home, it wasn’t like ‘right, Now I can go out with my friends’. Coming home from school meant checking on my dad, Cooking the tea and then going to shops to get the weekly shopping in.

As I got older my father became more dependent on me to take care of him, especially when he developed cancer and spent more days in bed recovering, meaning I was basically the adult in the relationship and he was the child. I felt like I had an adult baby. School didn’t understand, When I was on my phone in class they’d shout and take my phone off me and tell me “You can get it back when your parent comes in and collects it” I was just checking up on my dad, seeing if he was okay.

If I didn’t have my homework completed because I was up all night, Checking on my dad who was struggling to breath, or sat beside his bed wondering if the pain he had in his chest was getting worse, or even, sat beside him in the hospital covered in tubes, Wondering if tonight, would be the night I’d lose him.

I think schools need to be more aware about young carers and the high demand put on them and based from personal experience I think these are some of the basic things that could be changed in schools to support those who are caring for someone at home:

•        Have a young carers card, so teachers know when someone needs to take an important phone call, Especially if the person they’re caring for is in hospital or really unwell.
•    Extra time to hand in coursework or homework, Some young carers don’t get time to do their homework until the early hours of the morning.
• Someone assigned to them, To speak to them when they’re having difficulties, Being the adult at home they usually don’t have someone to offload to, There should be a set person in place for the young carer to offload to when things get tough.
•  Free school/college meals. As silly as it may sound, Some young carers skip dinner or tea to make sure the person they’re caring for is fed and well meaning they often miss out themselves, or the fact they can’t afford to pay for the school meal.
•  An academic tutor to help them with the work and give extra lessons, especially since a lot of ‘average pupils’ will reach out to their parent or older sibling when they’re struggling with their homework/coursework, young carers don’t always have this and this is how they end up falling behind.
•  Awareness of what a young carer actually is and what they do, Have someone come into school and give out assemblies/presentations to teach the other pupils and even the teachers about the struggles of a young carer.

I think if I had more help in school when I was a young carer I wouldn’t of acted up as much or got myself into mischief, the school wasn’t listening to me and the only way I could react was by misbehaving. My dad passed away in 2014, so now I’m no longer classed as a young carer, but I have a major passion about helping other young carers, By sharing my story I hope It helps make a change to just one young carers life.

My name is Emily-Jade I’m Nineteen years old and for 14 years, I was a young carer. 

Emily-Jade's Twitter - @EmmyJHeartbeat 

End of #BeyondFood

The campaign Beyond a tin of food may be over, but at the same time it’s not, because food poverty still exist and families are still hungry. I find this shocking we are the 7^th  Richest country in the world. When I went into the campaign I expected to hit some hurdles of people’s misconceptions. I found they was a huge variation of views, from people agreeing and already doing stuff around food poverty (GO YOU), to people saying out right that it does not exist in my community, Some battles I won some unforchantly I did not, But you cannot enlighten everyone.

Overall though me and my 3 amazing volunteers had a good campaign, and I learnt so much about the issue as well as about my-self. I do want to say a huge thanks to the team, they did so much, huge thanks. Be proud of yourselves.

As far as numbers go we collected a massive 230kg (estimated 300 items), which is far and beyond what I thought we could. As well as many conversations about food poverty, and hopefully some changed views along the way. You never know that person might have then talked to someone else about food poverty and so on. One conversation can turn into a lot more!

The campaign had opened my eyes and I am so gratefully to have the opportunity to do Team V, I already feel more confident, and feel I have more purpose and direction in life. 

The Hunger challange (Day 2)

Day 2 

I'm writing this a day late, so im now on my last day (woops) was super busy with uni work. I did day 3 in the format of a vlog, although its rather long so apologies. But here you go its done. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZJ1w2P0OqY 

Hunger Challange

So, Today was the first day of my hunger challenge. This involves me purchasing and eating what would be in a typical food parcel for 1 person, for 3 days. During the hunger challenge i'm going to document what i'm eating as well as snippets of information
around food poverty.

Nearly 1 million people used food banks in the year 2013-14. Three years ago that figure
was 128,000. A dramatic increase of 610%. (Figures provided by trussell trust food banks)

The day before the challenge I chose to fast in order to make the experience more realistic, so i was pretty peckish. I had a bowl of cornflakes (with some sweet sugar) and UHT milk. YUM! 
Breakfast is said to be one of the most important meals of the day over and over again but it really is, Many different studies show that kids who eat breakfast function better. (The Case for Eating Breakfast, n.d.) 

Next it was time to eat my dinner or lunch, being a northerner its definitely dinner. I was at uni so all i had was a kettle I had a cup a soup it looks a lot worse that it tastes, apologies for the image though. My friend was eating chips, hence the carton in the background, they smelt great though.

Because i was at uni till five i decided i needed a snack so had took 3 biscuits in a little baggy, I had them whilst having a natter about team v with a few friends. 

Last but certainly not least was tea, I was definitely ready for it. I had half a small tin of new potatoes, a small tin of spaghetti and some corned beef, which was a nightmare to get open. (nurses poorly finger) ooo, and a cuppa tea. 

 After which i failed to take a picture but i had another cuppa tea, and a biccy. Which I dunked of course. But use your imagination and pretend the cup is still full. 

That was the day, now time to get some uni work done. If anyone is interested in getting involved with team v or want more info email me at Emma.crone@vinspired.com

Breakfast info from.

The Case for Eating Breakfast (n.d.) HealthyChildren.org. Available at: http://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/nutrition/Pages/The-Case-for-Eating-Breakfast.aspx (Accessed: 11 November 2014).

Blob Tree

Introducing the Blob tree this is something I came across on my last placement. I loved its multitude of uses and also discovered i found it helpful myself. So what is it? Take a look.

As i said one of the reasons i liked the blob tree so much is that it can be used for so many things and people, hence why is so amazing, on this blog its even been used by a teacher to see how pupils are progressing in maths. For me the blob tree feels to to represent life, most of us can relate to one of the images in some way or another. Talking about (and even thinking about) how we're feeling is rarely an easy thing which is something but incredibly important the tree can sometimes help with this by enabling you to identify how your feeling and think about factors around this, such as why you might be feeling that way, are you ok being there, where you might like to be and also over time looking at where you have been. Personally i think its best done quickly that way i always seem to get a more accurate representation. This might sound strange but i then talk through to myself what i just mentioned, if i'm not ok with where I'm at, I then try to look if there's anything i can do to help myself, such as reducing stresses (not always possible), talking through how im feeling with someone and sometimes just making time for me time. Sometimes your not able to do that but even just understanding how your feeling can be a huge step. So i've talked about using it for yourself but you could also use it to help others too the same principles apply. Kids love it too, and you can even make your "own" version  in order to focus on what you want. But remember everyone may chose the image for a different reason so never assume, one person might see the image on the rope as having a great time,  where another could see it as being out of control. So use its great and best used in order to start conversations.

Blob Tree image:  http://blog.gulpfish.com/2012/08/5-weird-interview-questions-to-prepare-for/ (Accessesed 27/08/2014)

How i Fall

How i Fall

OK, so this might be going a little off the topic, but we need to do more than just burst stigma around mental health but also physical health. Hence why i love How i Fall so much. 

I'm not a big book person, but i've just found my new favorite book How I fall by Anne Eliot. Wow is it a good book. 

The main character is a girl called Ellen who just also happens to have a mild form of cerebral palsy which affects the left side of her body. But unlike many of these type of books you truly get to know the character and its so much more than just CP. I'm trying not to give any spoilers. 
For people who don't know much about CP it shows that all Ellen is is a ordinary teenager well Ellen is a extraordinary teenager but also, It gives insight into the struggles she faces every day both from her perspective and others. 

Ellen does not let CP get in her way at all, she sets a goal and works towards that no matter how many people might tell her she cannot. But it also shows that its good to ask for help too something which i think we all need to do some more. 

Now i'm just eagerly waiting on How I Fly which has a amazing green cover for CP awareness. But what will happen? Im hoping for a happy ending but more than anything i just want to know whats going to happen to Ellen

I need to say a big thanks to the little birdy who told me about this book thanks, and remember your amazing. Now i'm off to start reading it for the third time :).

See Anne's website here


Images - CP awareness ribbon http://yoursoutheasttexas.com/news/jrand39s-2nd-annual-walkathon-for-cerebral-palsy-awareness-to-be-held-march-29 (13.07.14)
How i fall book cover- http://www.anneeliot.com/#!books/cnec (13.07.14) 

Anxiety

As i spoke about in the last blog. I am a life mentor for mindfull. As part of that i am able to host webchats online, for the users :) Anxiety is a subject i'm passionate about because so many people struggle with yet we talk about it so little 

More than 1 in 10 people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some stage in their life. What's more is that 1 in 6 young people will experience some sort of anxiety problems in their life. In a class of 30 that's 5 people who will suffer from Anxiety problems!. So even if it feels like you are you are most definitely not alone. So, i thought i would take a quick look at some of the stuff we looked at, so here goes.

I think its quite nice to look at understanding what something is and what causes it first, that we can figure out ways in which we can control it.

Sooo, What is Anxiety?
You lot all had lots to say about this one and really seemed to know your stuff.
We feel anxious in response to a situation. We will have all felt some anxiety at some point for example before an exam you might feel tense, uncertain perhaps, fearful at the thought of sitting an exam or doing something new. Often when someone has anxiety they might worry about, what people are thinking, looking foolish, or something bad happening.

Why do we feel Anxious ?
Its the Fight or Flight, In the old mod days :P only kidding. Anxiety helped keep us safe, Anxiety kicks in when we feel in danger and need to react quickly. When we feel anxious our body releases hormones including adrenalin. This would then allow us to either run away or stay and fight, this need to happen quickly to respond to the situation. We have evolved so we don’t often experience these type of threats, but Anxiety has too causing Anxiety to happen in situations which might be embarrassing. This change is what causes the Physical symptoms that cause anxiety.

Symptoms
We then looked at some symptoms and things that happen when we feel anxious, I will not list too many but here is a few :)

Your heart beats faster to get more blood around your body, Rapid breathing (Hyperventilation) when we do this and have a Panic attack it may feel as if we cannot breath but we actually have too much Carbon Dioxide in our lungs and blood, And we need a certain amount so our body absorb the oxygen. We might find we Sweat to keep us cool. We might get a dry mouth or Feel sick this is because the digestive system slows down in order to save energy. We might feel dizzy or get “Jelly legs”. You might find you want the toilet. Finally for now Headaches, this can sometimes be caused by the tension when we are anxious.

We then looked at some thoughts and feeling you might have when your anxious. Here are just a few but i feel the list is endless as we are all unique.

Thinking that you may lose control and/or go “mad”
Thinking and feeling that you may have a be sick or faint
Feeling that people are looking at you and observing your anxiety
Feeling as though things are speeding up/slowing down
Feeling detached from your environment and the people in it
Feeling like wanting to run away/escape from the situation
Feeling on edge and alert to everything around you

We looked the the most common coping strategy that people tend to use which is Avoidance.
Avoidance gives you some immediate relief but it’s only a short term solution. It might feel as if it’s the best or only thing to do, but it actually reinforces the feeling that you cannot cope with it and that it is dangerous.
It can be looked at as a vicious cycle. The thoughts such as Something terrible will happen then the feelings such as Breathing rapidly then the behaviors Running away from the situation or avoiding it. We never get to see what would happen so we still believe that something terrible will happen.

So, what can we do.
Breathing I know it sounds really simple but it can make a huge difference, Putting you hands on your stomach and feeling the air move in and out. You can count while your doing this you can even do it in times tables as it makes you concentrate a little more. Some people also find drawing a square while breathing helpful, and doing it in sets of 4.
Distract your self they are o many ways you can do this such as music, puzzles, Games just doing something you enjoy. Music can help when your out too.
Take it in little steps. For example if you have anxiety on public transport the first step might just be walking to the bus stop and leaving, then sitting at the bus stop as a bus stops, then getting onto the bus with someone you trust and going one stop and so on. Reward your self when you manage. But of course only do it if it is safe to do so.
They are lots more you can do but this is getting silly long now, so we will end it by saying. Anxiety is one little tree in your forest. Step back and look at the whole forest. :)

This blog is taken from a blog i wrote after the webchat on Mindfull. See that here - http://www.mindfull.org/blog/post/Emma%40LM20/2014/05/anxiety-the-web-chat/?back=/blog/

Image taken from -  http://healthsciencedegree.info/anxiety-tumblr-gif/ 09.07.2014